I wish I could properly stress how good I think this video, but due to you not being able to see my face right now, I sadly, cannot. But my goodness. This is the Flaming Lips along with Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros playing the song “Do You Realize???” (Flaming Lips song) at a cemetery in Los Angeles. This is ironic, and I’ll explain that in a second. I first want to start off by saying that I envisioned this happening while I watched this video.

Follow me.

Everyone is walking around doing their normal routine. And…BOOM. All of a sudden this long strung out version of this song starts playing from the clouds as if they were speakers. At once, everyone looks up to the sky, and feels God’s presence come over them. And everyone quits letting society decide what we do. 

That everyone will someday die

And instead of saying all of your - let them know

You realize that life goes fast

It’s hard to make the good things last

Those are some of the lyrics to the song. We realize that we will die someday and through God’s grace we should be ecstatic. And that all of the things that happen to us whether it’s relationships, jobs, or whatever, will go away with death. So we need to savor, treasure, secure, hold onto, and not take for granted those moments. We need to make them special every single second that they happen.

The second part of why I love this song so much is because of the first line.

Do you realize - That you have the most beautiful face

I love this because it is so simple, yet so powerful. I basically have too many things planned out for my future that will all be trumped by my wife, but I guess that’s just how it goes. I would love to have this playing during “the first dance” or whatever the technical term for that crap is at my wedding. I sometimes am not the best with words, so I like to find songs that do the talking for me, and then I elaborate on them.

I haven’t posted anything in awhile so just take time to watch this video, even though it is thirteen minutes, and enjoy it. Just disregard the cuss word that Wayne Coyne uses in his little speech about half way through.

I love you all. 

The music industry is about to be uplifted by this album.

As I sit here and listen to the Fleetwood Mac album, Rumors, I think about the last time I wrote something. I discussed the story of the chocolate store and how I gave a man a free Fleet Foxes ticket. Well I have been back to Tulsa once since then, and went and saw Davis. Makenzie, the other girl who worked there, and Davis remembered me as soon as I walked in. Dang. It was so cool. Since then I’ve seen Explosions in the Sky, The Avett Brothers, The Non, and Dr. Dog live. 

Explosions in the Sky- Without a doubt in my mind could I have induced a heart attack on myself. It was the loudest show I’ve ever been too. It left my ears ringing till the next day. 

The Avett Brothers- Wow. This was the third time I had seen them, and they did not fail to let me done. They played “Just a Walk With Thee” unplugged into an old microphone. Jesus was smiling down upon them. They also played, “In the Curve”, a bonus track of the Emotionalism record. Phenomenal.

The Non- My friend, Wil Norton’s band. Check them out. They are instrumental, and will rock your world. They played a new song, so hopefully they will release another album in the near future.

Dr Dog- They had rigged a seventies type living room for their set, and it was so intimate. We were front row, right in front of the mic. It was insane. They just announced that they will be releasing another album. YES. And on that note, shout out to Mary Gower for getting me a Dr. Dog beanie. 

Since I’m on that subject now, I would like to have the sense of awe on how God puts things in front of you at the right time. I have been planning this music series on how it can relate to your faith since my junior year of high school. The college minister (Jeff) at the church I attend came to me to talk about how he will be doing a music series. Hot dog, Jeff. He then asked me to get up and talk a little about a song that means a lot to me. I was astounded. I started thinking about which song I wanted to do. I then came to the conclusion that whenever I got up to speak, people would probably be in a giddy mood. And I do not want that. I want to shake some people. I want to leave people speechless. Uncomfortable. You name anything uneasy, and I want it to happen. Because I at this moment, I feel called to do so. What better way to do that by talking about a serial killer and relating it to a religious matter? The weekend before I was going to talk, I was given the opportunity to travel to Austin with six other people for a service project on Saturday, and then to attend Church Under the Bridge in Waco the next day on the way home. I was so anxious because I had never been to Austin, and because I had to pretty much write this lesson in the down time we had on the trip. While on the bus driving down to Austin, I secluded myself in the back of the bus and cranked up music, and let thoughts come to me. My brain has never functioned like it did that weekend. Throughout the weekend, I was throwing notes down into my phone like it was my day job. Then Sunday, when we went to Waco, the minister talked about everything that I needed to hear. It was spot on with the direction that I wanted to take. Once again, astounded. I also constructed a small, totally wacked out drug enhanced feeling, visual using Festival by Sigur Ros. I’ll throw that on here later. So I meet with Jeff on Monday to go over what is going to happen on Wednesday, and he asks what I am going to speak over because he is talking about the Bob Marley song, “One Love”. Welp Jeff, I was going for the whole depressing serious route. So he tells me that I should probably hold off on it, and give it another week. I thought to myself about how much I had put mentally into it. Then I remember how when I tried to copy and paste everything I had written to an email, I accidentally deleted everything, and lost it all. No w I have an entire week to put it all together again. Balls, my main dawg, JC, was looking out for me again. 

So this is a little update on what is going on. Thanksgiving is around the corner, aka five days from now, and I go home Tuesday night. I could not be more happy. I have been put in situations that have led to insane relationships, and awesome opportunities. I sometimes like to think about how much fun it would have been if I would have gone to Lipscomb, so I could hang out with the likes of Adam Sain, Andrew Dickerson, Mason Lusk, and others. Then I think about everything that I have built out here. It just makes it clear that God really wanted me to come out here, to get away, to start fresh, and be apart of some great things. I think it’s safe to say that I’m going back to Ghana? Yessir. As of now, I am going to apply to be a trek guide in Colorado, making this the summer of uncleanliness. Things could change obviously, but that is the tentative plan. I see a chance to grow up and mature even more in the coming year, and I could not be more interested to see what happens. As scattered brain as this last paragraph was, I hope someone deciphered something out of it.

Song you should listen to. Never Going Back Again by Fleetwood Mac.

Well someone kick me in the shin and donkey punch me in the back of the head. The last couple days have consisted of outstanding fellowship between myself and others. Geez, I live for that stuff. Screw studying, worrying about the future, or any of that other garbage. As of about a year ago, I have been thriving on a good conversation with someone. And this summer, I went wild with it. And coming back out to OC has not made it less recurring. 

In the most organized way to go about it, here we go.

Saturday Danny, Kelsey, and I left for Tulsa to see Fleet Foxes. The trip started off with mass chaos having a TOM TOM and a turnpike to blame. Yes. Perfect way to start an God led night. We start by eating at Joe Mama’s Pizza (Highly recommend it to anyone). The waiter continues to fill my cup with Mountain Dew and so I continue to drink it. We get to the venue to sit in line around 5:30. My bladder is about to flow like the rivers of Babylon. So I search for a bathroom near by, and all there is, is (ha) a pub, violin shop, and classy restaurants. Felt kinda weird so I did not go into any of those places. I turn the corner and start frantically looking to urinate. Out of nowhere, this guy is right in my face. “O my goodness, I feel like such an asshole (Excuse me language). Shoot man! Want some free chocolate?” says the guy. “Wait what? I just need to use the bathroom” I say. So I walk into his chocolate shop to use the bathroom and he proceeds to ask/tell me that I’m going to see Fleet Foxes. Who is this guy and how does he know me? I tell him yes in a confusing manner, and he says he could just tell that I was going. By this point, I was hardly listening because I had to use the restroom so badly. As I’m leaving I asked him if he was going tonight and he said if some miracle happens he will, but if not it was nice meeting me. Now that I’m getting too detailed, I’ll sum up the last part. I leave and go tell Danny and Kelsey the story. Couple seconds later a woman on a motor scooter rides up and asks us if we want free tickets to the show. I tell her no after confirming that she wasn’t screwing with us about the creditability of the tickets. But wait a minute, the guy at the chocolate shop didn’t have a ticket. I grabbed the ticket, ran back to the shop, and slapped the ticket on the counter and said, “God is good”. He responded with a bunch of hugs and the F word. Hysterical. My heart is pounding just thinking about it. It was so cool. That lady on the bike had to have been an angel. I freaking made that guys day! I don’t even know what else to say.

Today I got out of class and went to the admissions office. That consisted of me, Jed, Trevor, and Karlee talking about random stuff. I live for that. A lot of music talk and laughing happened. This is Karlee and I’s story. I stuck my tongue out at her while making some crazy face when I didn’t even know her (I thought she was someone I knew obviously), I saw her again driving and meant to do the same thing (because I now know her), but we ended up just smiling at each other. Then I had about a hour and a half conversation with her about a week ago. And then the conversation that took place today. Thats what it is all about. Engaging in meaningful, interesting, and weird conversation. I wouldn’t trade the past three days for anything. She also mentioned that one of her friends had her “first dance” at her wedding to “Marry Song” by Band of Horses. Freaking brilliant.

Song you should listen to. Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes.

Mesmerize your soul.

This is “Holocene” from the Bon Iver concert I went to at the Ryman. I was extremely overwhelmed throughout the night with the talent Justin Vernon has. You could tell clearly how much passion he had for his music. The little minute and a half chaotic strumming of his guitar at the end of some songs while on his knees looking like he is weeping pretty much summed up the energy and beautifulness of the night.

I went and saw a movie tonight with Ben and Emily. It was called “The Tree of Life”. It was at the Belcourt Theatre, which is this sweet little theatre that shows really obscure movies that are most times not shown in “real” theatres (Ex. Trash Humpers and Hobo with a Shotgun). Seeing these movies at this theatre is so cool. The people are very unique and so most times I feel that I cannot breathe when I’m in there. Truth is I do not want to make anyone mad. Anyways, whenever the movie is over is the best part. It is dead quite and everyone is still thinking about what we just watched. No one sprints out or starts cracking jokes. It’s so cool. The movie tonight was unreal. A good forty percent of the movie was weird Planet Earth type footage. Crazy nebulas, planets, and volcanic eruptions were a few of the many clips. It was supposed to resemble creation I suppose. Intense way to go about it. The movie was really deep so my attempt to explain it is probably entirely wrong, but this is what I think it was all about. This father (Brad Pitt) was in the military and was very firm with his kids, especially his oldest son. As the child grows older, he becomes more and more like his father. It was cool to see that portrayed. He was stand off(ish) to being emotional, very intense, yet he wanted what was best for his younger brothers. From there, it went two directions. I think their was supposed to be connections with Cain and Abel with the older brother and younger brother. It shows the younger brother succeeding quicker (Ex. With the guitar) and in the background you see the older brother watching on in jealousy. It also seemed to have connections with Jesus vs. Satan too. The older brother was innocent and pure when he was born, and as he got older he became more rebellious/hateful. And the younger brother always seemed to be even kill and was never thinking anything harmful towards his brothers or his father/mother. Typing all of this out makes it sound wrong and even more complicated than it already is. Just watch the movie, you will not regret it. 

The one scene that hit me hard, was when the older brother had a lamp and he told his younger brother to put a metal wire into it. This kid is about to get electrocuted was what was going through my mind. The younger brother does it and nothing happens. He then licks his finger and puts it on the lamp holder thing. Nothing happens. Yet he looks terrified as he stares into his older brother eyes. The older brother then says, “it’s ok, I’m your brother. I would never hurt you.” With my oldest brother, Wesh as I like to call him, moving to Memphis Monday it hit me hard, how sad I am. He is finally living out his dream. He got into Med school and is going to hopefully become a doctor. I could not be happier for him, but I find myself still not ready to let him “go” I guess. I still want him to be sitting at the dinner table with me every night. John included. We are having a big dinner tomorrow night, and I will most likely have to sneak off and pull myself together. He keeps asking me if I am still down to help him pack everything in the Uhaul they’re getting. What he doesn’t know is I wouldn’t miss that for the world. Yeah, they have a ton of stuff to load up and it is going to be hot, but I would do anything for my brothers. Literally anything. We are taking our annual family trip to Gulf Shores the last week of July and the first week of August. That trip the past two years has turned out to be just me and the parents. Marcy has teaching garbage to do, and John probably cannot get off work. So it’ll just be me and the parents again for a week and a half. I am totally fine with that, but I am starting to realize more and more that their are going to be few times where the entire family is together. I am a family man, as you can tell. 

Song you should listen to. You, Appearing by M83. The song has seven words in it, and yet that is all I need right now. I need solace. 

I had an epiphany the other day. I had just got home from a week of church camp that I signed up for three days in advance. You would have never known that I had almost no connection to that church though by my actions. Everyone, and when I say everyone I do mean everyone, treated me like I had been there all my life and I was their good friend. I sometimes take a few “meetings” to really get down to what I’m all about, which is being really weird. I instantly felt I could be as weird as possible with these people and they would either laugh, or not scold me for it. Thats all someone needs to get me going. Laugh when I make a weird noise or comment. For example, Ryan Van Deusen. I immediately knew from the get go that I could tell him anything and he would listen to me in a serious manner and give me his honest opinion. This past week was like being with a bunch of Ryan Van Deusen’s. It was even more than I needed. God strikes again. Speaking of Ryan, I miss him. It’s funny because most of the time we are on the same wave length (brain wise) and so our conversations are seriously meaningful. Even when we are joking around they are inspiring. Right now, as I have already stated, I have a ton going on in my mind and I think talking to him about it would straighten a lot of stuff out and get me super pumped. I just do not want to do it via phone call, text, or email. So until the fall when I visit you, Ryan. So back to my epiphany, I was in the shower. All the lights off. Try it some time. And I had just bought the new Bon Iver album. I had fought the urge to listen to it before it released and so this was the first time I had listened to it. The first song is called “Perth”. The start of the song is so smooth. Then voices come in the background faintly. Along with the pattering of drums that progressively get louder. In comes Justin’s voice. Anddd then BOOM! in comes a louder electric guitar and drums. And that is just in the first two minutes. At the three minute and four second mark is when it happened. The horns came in and I found myself with my face pressed up against my wall in the shower. Coolest thing. It was like God was taking my head and banging it into the wall. Kidding, but wouldn’t that be wild if that happened? So as I was laying in bed today about to take a nap I thought about other albums that have a lot of noise, a lot of things going on, and a lot of meaning behind the lyrics. Here is the list that came to me today:

Animal Collective- ODDSAC

Atlas Sound- Bedroom Databank Vol. 1

Avey Tare & Kria Brekkan- Pullhair Rubeye

Beach House- Devotion

Bon Iver- Bon Iver

Chad VanGaalen- Soft Airplane

Deerhunter- Halcyon Digest

Efterklang- Springer

Grizzly Bear- Yellow House

Jonsi- Go

The Non- Tadaima

Other Lives- Self Titled

Panda Bear- Tomboy

The Ruby Suns- Fight Softly

Shugo Tokumaru- Exit

Sigur Ros- Tak…

State Bird- Marching Thru The Wilderness

Sufjan Stevens- The Age Of Adz

TV On The Radio- Nine Types Of Light

The Uglysuit- The Uglysuit

So hopefully one of you will read this and listen to one of these albums and have your brain stretched to a point you’ve never seen and tell me about it.

Song you should listen to. Perth by Bon Iver.

So many things have been buzzing around in the brain of mine. I also love to over book myself with things and events. Maybe it’s just because I just got back into the country and this is the first time I have been home in awhile. Either way, I need to cut it out. I am in no way satisfied with anything these days. Well most everything. Bonnaroo was this past weekend. One of these days. One of these days, I will go. And I will see God in the clouds, on stage, in peoples dreadlocks, in the colorful shirts, and in the RV’s. It will be sweet. Workcamp went well. I did not feel that I had the authority to tell these kids what to do so I ended up just doing the work for them most of the time. For my own sake, I needed to do that. It taught me to put others first. I made a lot of friendships this year at workcamp. It made me wonder if I would want to intern and would I be any “good” at it? I had a little vinyl session the other night. It consisted of Chicago, Animal Collective, The Beatles, Steve Miller Band, and Styx. Sweet little line up I had going. The Steve Miller Band album “Fly Like An Eagle” completely rocked my world. I have been trying lately to avoid everything and not do anything at night. It has not been working out so well so far. However, two nights ago, when I had my vinyl session, I managed to pull it off. It was so necessary. I rented one hundred and twenty-seven hours. I had been wanting to watch it again ever since I had seen it in theatres, but what really was happening was God was yelling in my ear to watch it so I could get something out of it.

I realized that if I was in that situation, I would act that exact way. Spitting image. I would just be hanging out, not being able to move, recording myself saying a few things to my family and close friends. I would all of a sudden snap and started yelling random words. Probably about how angry I was that my arm was wedged in by a rock. I would be on the brink of insanity, and then all of a sudden snap into being serious and some what emotional. He has some great lines in the movie, but the one that jumped out to me was when he was saying that the rock had been waiting for him ever since he was born. It’s been waiting for that day when he was climbing to fall on him and make him decide on whether or not he was going to do something outrageous or just get in the fetal position. I feel that I have so many rocks right now crushing me, but i’m just not taking the time to cut my arm off. Metaphorically speaking. I am allowing everything else to cluster F my world. I’m restless. I need to do something. At the end of the movie this ridiculously spiritual moment happens. “Festival” by Sigur Ros comes on. That songs scares me every time I hear it. Throughout the nine minutes and twenty-four seconds that it plays, I envision the world coming to an end. And I realize that I am so far from where I need to be. It has an insane four minute and forty second intro (sorta) and then God steps in for a drum solo. And Samson is the bouncer threatening everyone to cheer loudly or he will just kill them with a jaw bone from some extinct animal. I cannot describe it anymore, it’s too good. Just listen to it.

Song you should listen to. Festival by Sigur Ros.

Tis been awhile since I have last written. I’ll be cliché and punch myself in the face for saying this, but a lot has happened since then. I was in Ghana, Africa for three and a half weeks at a place called the Village of Hope. I’m going to try and keep this short because I have a more detailed journal in my possession that is filled with so many deep secrets it’s not even funny. It’s actually filled with funny quotes from the trip and random events that happened. Ask to read it and I might let you. Could not have been happier with how the trip went.

For once, I finally felt that I was doing something with my life. I did not have to do anything, but smile at these kids and hug them and they were immediately uplifted. What they didn’t know was they were making me a better person in the whole process. It was stifling hot there, clearly by the closeness of the equator, and so coming home to ninety-one degree weather hasn’t even phased me. Which is one of the reasons I am so excited to be a crew leader for Workcamp next week. I know for a fact that I am the most unqualified person for the job, but o well. I am in charge (with another college student) of a group of ten or eleven kids and they have to listen to me. So you better believe my rambling skills are going to come in handy a lot. For the first week in Ghana we hung out with the kids and led some devo’s and church services. We also put on a movie night because the kids were not in school that week.

The second week was, well…testing I guess. We put on a VBS for four days in which we called, Spiritual Emphasis Week. Looking back at how kinda awful it was, it was probably the funniest thing to think about. We split the group up into clumps of five and we were then in charge of two grades. The two grades I was in charge of had around one hundred and forty-eight kids. Hysterical.

For the third week, the kids were back in school, and so we had to wait till three to play with them. We left Thursday to go to a college right outside of Accra to do some evangelism. Didn’t see that one coming. We went out to this village about twenty minutes away talked to kids at the school, then went out among the village. The village had a good portion of Muslims, and so the first group of about seven or eight guys we come up on we sit down and start talking to. I had two interpreters with me and they are talking in a language I do not understand and then all of a sudden I hear, “and here is our American preacher.” I was as shocked as you are. So I spit out a little lesson on Peter (I think, I was freaking out and sweating a lot so I cannot really remember). Because I was white, it made whatever I had to say at least worthy to listen to in their culture. That is cool and all, but in no way should we have been celebrities over there. In no FREAKing way. While on the trip, thirteen of the twenty-one people got Apollo. It’s an eye disease that is worst that pink eye. Luckily, out of the group, I got it the worst.

Three of the twenty-one got Malaria. Yeah that disease we joke around about that kills tons of people. All of these testing times made the trip better. A lot of jokes were generated from it.

A two quotes from the trip that I thought were outstanding.

            Background: We eat at five o’clock every day for dinner.

            Mary- “Ok Tealridge.”

            Tealridge is the nursing home on campus. This was by far my favoite quote.

            Background: We are in Amsterdam, and haven’t eaten lunch, but we want to go to the Red Light District because we didn’t have much time.

            Jeff- “Well I don’t know about you guys, but I hate prostitute shopping on an empty stomach.”

            I won’t give an conclusion on that one.

All in all, a great trip. I realized a little of what I want to at least have a hand in with my future. I grew closer to God. Grew closer to a lot of the people on our trip. Made relationships with kids that will hopefully continue to flourish for years to come. I also realized more and more that my thoughts towards America are still dwindling in good nature.

Song you should listen to. Poisonous Heads by Chad VanGaalen.